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The REAL Reason You’re Not Achieving Your Goals & Dreams

You made the vision board, you've set the intentions, you're working all the hours possible (oh hello #hustleculture) and you've invested in every free online course that promises to deliver the results you want. And yet, you feel like a hamster on a wheel, constantly chasing this goal that always feels just out or reach. Did you do the board wrong....?!

The frustration is real and despite your instincts telling you that you're already working exceptionally hard, a little voice says "work harder" or potentially worse but definitely not better, "you suck"

Sound familiar?!

Well I have news for you: You don't suck, and working harder is not the answer. The problem isn't you, it's your approach. When your mindset isn't fully in alignment with your goals & dreams, that's when you find yourself continually unable to reach the milestones, and even if you do, you're either too exhausted to soak up the wins or you fail to see the wins at all.

Here's 5 common reasons as to why you're not achieving your goals and what you can do today to change it....

1. You're hung up on who you think you're supposed to be

Or who you think other people think you're supposed to be! When we buy into a version of ourselves that we think we're supposed to be, we miss out on the oppertunity of discovering who we really are and what we're really capable of. We're actually suppressing our magic when we do this. There's a reason the slogan "Being you is your super power!!" Has become so popular, yes it's all kinds of cheesy but think about it... Only you can do the things you do, in the way that you do them.

Think about every successful musician, writer, author, they each have their own style, they bring their own magic . And no one else can be them, they can try, but they just won't have the same results. This exact same theory applies to you. You have your own individual magic that makes you, YOU. It's when you lean into that, when you cultivate and nurture your own magic, that's when life gets really interesting. And more than that, it feels incredible! If you've been feeling stifled by the expectations of others or yourself, and you know deep down that you're not living as the truest version of yourself, it's time to let go off who you think you’re supposed to be and allow yourself  to become who you really are.

2. You don't invest enough in yourself

Somehow theres always 101 other things that come before you, your goals & dreams. Life huh, it really gets in the way of things?! Don't be fooled by the busyness that life has to offer, there will always be other things that need doing, other elements in our lives that require our attention, whether it's kids, work or the commitment you made to the PTA when you felt cornered by the Mum Brigade (you know the ones) I'm not saying "Screw everything else, I come first!!" (Although you can if you want) What I am saying is that you don't need to be putting yourself so far down the list of things that are a priority to you.

There are dozens of ways in which you can invest in yourself whilst pursuing your goals & dreams, the key is find what works for you. Investing in yourself doesn't just mean carving out time to work on those goals, or investing in a coach to help you get there, it also means looking after yourself in the process. The quality of your sleep, your nutrition, how often you move your body and spend time in nature (and no the tv screen saver doesn't count) are all contributing factors towards how likely you are to accomplish your goals and how you will feel when you reach those hard earned milestones.

So invest in yourself, make yourself a priority in your own life. The ROI will be infinitely higher than any other financial investment you could ever make. Your future you will thank you!

3. You're holding onto "failures" & sidelining your wins

Our brains are amazing. I'm astounded everyday by the beauty of what we as humans can create. But the truth is that our brains haven't evolved much in recent history and one of the evolutionary hangovers of this is that we're more wired to focus the negative than the positive, the lack and not the abundance. Ever spend days/weeks/months agonising over a mistake you made and approx 28 seconds celebrating something you accomplished?!

Take some time to audit your year with honesty and compassion: What what worked out well for you? What goals did you reach? And I'm not just talking about the big fat shiny ones, I'm also talking about the little wins that so often get overlooked in the pursuit of the big goals. How have you grown as a person? Be proud of your progress and really appreciate the work you've done to get to where you are.

When you're looking at what didnt work out, what felt like a failing or a mistake, try reframing them in a way that is conducive to moving forwards in a postive direction. What lessons can you takeaway from these experiences? What can you do differently? There's also an element of acceptance to be had, after all, what didn’t work out for you was all part of a bigger plan to lead you to where you’re really supposed to be. It's just another way of crossing off what you don't want or what doesn't work for you in order to get closer to what does.

4.  You're staying in your comfort zone

That overused, worn out, thrown around social media expression "Nothing grows in the comfort zone" is as equally annoying as it is true.

If you stay where you, you will stay where you are. There's no escaping the fact that in order to grow, in order to reach those lofty dreams of yours, you absolutely have to push yourself outside of your comfort zone and stop worrying about what other people will think or the potential of it not working out. And yes, it's uncomfortable (it's one of those "does what it says on the tin" kinda deals) But it's only through that discomfort that we can stretch ourselves beyond our current state and move in to something new.

A big part of this, is shifting your mindset to accept failures as opportunities to learn and grow. And lets be real, to also accept that other peoples opinions are of no concern to you and that for the most part, people are just too busy focused on themselves to even pay attention. It's like the first time you go to they gym feeling self conscious and quickly realise that everyone's far too busy flexing on themselves to notice anyone else!

And besides, can you even imagine waking up when you're 85 and saying "Well I was going to pursue my lifelong dream of becoming an athlete/author/musician/pastry chef but I was worried about what other people would think"

Errrmmm....No thank you!!!

So play with the boundaries, dip your toe into unknown waters - there’s so much available to you on the other side of your fears.

5. You haven't fully accepted that you're capable & worthy

Eeesssshhhh.... This is a BIG one. You cannot receive what you don’t believe you deserve. Please read that again. And again. And again. Until it fully sinks in that in order to achieve your goals and dreams you have to believe that you are capable and worthy of achieving them.

It doesnt matter how hard you work. It doesn't matter how many podcasts you listen to, books you read or seminars you attend. At the risk of going all woo on you, the answer to everything lies within you, not outside of you. And no amount of external anything will assist you in accomplishing your dreams if deep down you believe you are unworthy or incapable.

Over the past couple of years it's inadvertently become my mission, to help woman do just this. To develop the self compassion they need to cultivate self belief, two key ingredients required to bring your dreams to life. It's a journey that's deeply personal to me, one that has led me achieve personal and professional goals that 20 year old Hayley would be utterly astounded by!! Had I not developed those two vital elements, self compassion & self belief, I would not be sat here writing this and I would not be so honoured as to work with so many incredible women along their own journey, and for all of it I'm deeply grateful.

If this article provided you with the clairty you needed or the inspiration to move forward and you'd like to work with me, then you can book your 1:1 session here or you can get in touch here with more information on sessions & workshops

Love & Magic

Hayley x

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