How to Practise Self-Compassion When Life Feels Heavy | Podcast Recap | Episode 21

Devon joining me for a much needed meditation session 💫

A summarised edit of Mindset, Mess & Magic | Episode 21 | How to Practise Self-Compassion When Life Feels Heavy

Listen to the episode, unedited and in full here!

Why Self-Compassion (and Why Now)

So this week’s episode, we are going to be focused on self-compassion. If you’ve been following me for a little while, you’ll know that self-compassion is one of my three core pillars of teaching, alongside Radical Responsibility and Aligned Action. And I wanted to talk about self-compassion today because I believe that it is such a fundamental asset in your life.

It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’re trying to do — having self-compassion is always going to benefit you, especially for those who are on a journey to create something bigger than what they already have, or for people who are going through difficult seasons of adversity.

2025: Magic and a Mess (Both Can Be True)

I have been no stranger to talking about this this year. 2025 for us has been particularly turbulent. You look back on life and you’re like, “oh yeah, that year was crazy,” or “that year was amazing,” and all these different things happened.

Well, 2025 for us has been full of so much magic and joy because, as you know, we welcomed in our first grandson, Devon, who is just the absolute fucking delight that he is. I adore his presence in our world. It’s been amazing, and he is undoubtedly the best thing to come out of 2025.

Our year has also been about navigating what has felt like a shit show, to be totally honest.

But, like I said, if you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know that I speak very openly and honestly and candidly. I am a wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve kind of girl. I don’t really hold back, and that is why on the podcast I like to share these things with you — so that if you’re navigating your own storms, you know that the person speaking these words isn’t sitting there from some privileged place of non-existent problems (not that I believe that person exists).

This is speaking from experience. It’s speaking from real life. And at the moment, it feels very much like hardcore real life for us.

Softening in the Storm

I really wanted to focus today on how you can be softening in the storm — learning to meet yourself with compassion when life throws those curveballs at you, because it is a part of life.

It is part of the human condition to have issues, to have problems. It’s not about seeking a problem-free life. It is about developing and cultivating the tools and strategies that will help you within those seasons.

Even though I believe my three core pillars — Radical Responsibility, Aligned Action, and Self-Compassion — can all help you navigate the stormiest seasons, self-compassion is something that I myself have recently been really trying to dig into. It’s the one that took me the longest to learn. And I think if you’re a person who took a long time to learn to love yourself, to accept yourself, to cultivate self-worth, it can be one of the first things to exit the building when the shit hits the fan. Old habits die hard, right?

So I’ve been very aware of this and thinking about how I can incorporate more self-compassion into my own daily practices and my own life.

A Very Human week

For a little bit of context — this is my second attempt at recording the podcast. I recorded it two days ago. Very honestly, it was a delightfully cathartic whinge. Much needed, but it wasn’t a podcast episode — it was a journal entry!

I always want to share with you, be honest with you, and give you some insight into how I handle situations in my life. But my core desire is to help you navigate your own situations and solutions.

So, when I say that the past few weeks have been some of the hardest ever, it’s because there have been so many changes and things we’re trying to navigate — and real-life medical emergencies in the family. My grandfather had a heart attack. Phoebe, who is three weeks post-op, has suffered serious complications after her surgery. She is receiving medical treatment now. I’m not going into all the details because these are other people’s stories — I’m just in it with her.

As a mother, it has been the most terrifying time of my life, hands down. I’m looking forward to her full recovery and to not feeling this level of anxiety for her physical well-being. It’s been wild.

And we are still very much enjoying the delightful Devon — he’s so delicious. I’m absolutely adoring my grandmother era. Very unexpected — I didn’t think it would happen this year — but I’m loving it. It’s amazing.

The Hardest Call: Saying Goodbye to Rocco

If you’ve been following me on social media, you’ll know our dog Rocco. Unfortunately, when we brought the newborn home, Rocco did not respond well. We did the research and the recommended introductions with scent, clothes, all the things. We tried to operate with love and consideration. However, he’s still an animal, and he did not take to Devon being brought home. He showed severe signs of aggression.

We sought help, and then one night he attempted to make an attack. Baby is absolutely fine — nobody was harmed. But that night we had very heavy hearts because we knew it meant he had to be rehomed.

Rocco is no longer with us. I have cried many tears. It was a reminder that sometimes the right thing is the hard thing. He’s been my baby for four years, but it wasn’t going to work — our daughter and the baby live with us. Baby’s health and well-being take precedence.

The fact I can say that without bursting into tears shows I’ve done a lot of work over the past couple of weeks. We were sent pictures by the wonderful man who has taken Rocco, just out living their best life together — a little dynamic duo. I did have a little cry, but it’s good to know he’s loved and looked after and somewhere he’ll feel relaxed. There was me walking around sighing “Devon is amazing!!!!” and Rocco was like, “this is the worst thing ever.”

It doesn’t always work out the way you want it to….

Fight, Flight, and Finding Your Breath

Navigating all this — in and out of hospital, Phoebe’s complications, my grandad’s heart attack — has had me asking, what the fuck is happening? It can massively trigger fight or flight. I’ve felt that strongly. Me and my partner have talked about this a lot. He’d ask a simple question and I’d be ready — unregulated.

Catching yourself in that moment matters. This morning I took time to meditate and journal. Every time I catch it, I do a bit of breathwork on the spot. I feel a lot better for it today.

Why Self-Compassion Slips (and How to Bring It Back)

I see a lot of people lacking self-compassion — no judgment. I used to be my harshest critic and put myself at the bottom of the list all the time. In a hard time, it’s easy to fall into old patterns and forget to apply self-compassion.

I’ve chosen to show up regardless of the current shit show for a couple of reasons. One, you’re on the journey with me. I never want to contribute to a facade of perfection or highlights-reels. Of course, some things you navigate quietly, and that’s okay. But I want to create space for people to relate, to feel solidarity, to not feel like they’re juggling it all alone.

There have been many situations where I’ve had to wear a mask — raising a family, running multiple businesses, a team, real-life emergencies — sometimes it’s required. But with this podcast, I don’t want to do that. I want this to be a sacred space where we can be honest, share, and grow together. No mask required.

The people who are here for it will stay. The people who are like, “what the fuck?” — they’ll leave. And that’s okay.

The Three Parts of Self-Compassion (as I See It)

I believe self-compassion calls for three things:

1. Self-honesty

2. Becoming your inner coach

3. Giving yourself space to feel

To be honest, honesty first — always — and space to feel probably second, then inner coach.

1) Self-Honesty

You can’t bullshit your way to change or to feeling better. “Fake it till you make it” has its place (sometimes we put on the mask because we need to), but cultivating true self-compassion requires a space where you can be really honest about what you’re feeling, thinking, wanting, not wanting, and what is happening.

Denial is not your friend here. It keeps you stuck. Be the friend to yourself who says, “give me the ugly, give me the messy — we can handle it.” Have that conversation with yourself.

2) Give Yourself Space to Feel

It’s great to be honest — but if you immediately move into the next task, the next day, the next month, the next year, the next relationship or job, you’re not giving yourself the space to feel.

You can’t go over it or around it. You either deal with it (which requires space to feel), or you push it down. Like Whack-a-Mole — push it down and it pops up somewhere else, more inconvenient and messier. There is no one-size-fits-all method. Do what works for you. But space is one of the kindest, most compassionate things you can give yourself.

3) Be Your Own Inner Coach

We all know the inner critic. It usually comes from an unhealed place and tries to protect you, but it’s not constructive. When you’re in a difficult season, flip it: turn critic into coach.

For me, it used to sound like: “you didn’t do enough.” I’d write ridiculous to-do lists, then berate myself. Now, when I hear that voice, I counter it with, “Okay, but what did I do?” And I list it — baby feeds, school run, emails, social post, laundry, business tasks. By halfway through, I feel, “you did a lot today; you’re okay.”

Be your own cheerleader. Question the critic with love: “Is that true? Not enough compared to what — by whose standards?”

Journal Prompts for Stormy Seasons

If you’re in a season of struggle, here are questions to reflect on (journal, meditate, or just ponder):

• What does self-compassion look like for me in this season?

• What would feel like an act of kindness toward myself today?

• What do I need right now to get through this?

• What positive outcomes can I focus on? (Look for glimmers, not gloom.)

• What is currently in my control — and what isn’t? (Circle what’s yours; gently release the rest.)

• What can I let go of in this moment? (A belief, a burden — even your held breath.)

Until next time — practice self-compassion, be on your own team, and keep leaning into the tools that bring you back home to yourself.

I’m excited to see what you create. 💫