Fun fact - Before I started my own businesses around 15 years ago, I studied Counselling & Psychotherapy for a few years. I left school at 17 with very average grades and a letter of recommendation for college from my Head of Year, stating “Had Hayley’s home life been different, I’m sure she would have gotten better results.”
I clung to that letter for years, keeping it in a little filing cabinet along with other “important documents” like my passport and my lastest unpaid electricity bill. I used to think “See, even the teacher said it. I could have been better. I could have done more. If only my circumstances were different.”
My well intentioned teacher had tried to extend a level of compassion and understanding with her genuine belief that I had been held back by my turbulent upbringing. Her carefully crafted letter was designed to help assist me on my journey in which I could now go forth and be better, do more. However, with my low self esteem calling the shots and without the self awareness that I was now in control of my destiny, I weaponised it to validate the limiting beliefs I held around my capabilities and worthiness.
And so there I remained, in my victimhood, with a letter from Mrs Rough to prove that it wasn't my fault and a “whatcha gonna do” kind of attitude. (Please know that im simultaneously sighing, rolling my eyes and energetically sending compassion to the young version of me that didn't know any better!)
Goodbye victimhood, hello self awareness
Fast forward a few years (and a whole lotta mess later) and I decided that I wanted to take all that mess, all that unstable childhood trauma and all that… experience, and use it to help others. I figured that If I couldn't change the past, or make it go away, then it had to be for something, right? And so I decided to train as a therapist and thus began my entry into the world of personal development, a place with hope, purpose and yes, accountability.
Why is this relevant to you?!
Well, to cut an even longer story short, it taught me the one vital skill you would absolutely need if you wanted to make real changes in your life. This one skill alone will help you break generational trauma, cultivate a healthier relationship with yourself, work on your blind-spots and BS (we ALL have them!) develop self belief along with worthiness and yes, finally, have you taking action towards your goals & dreams.
What is that skill you ask? Good question - 10 points to Gryffindor!! This one magical skill that will legitimately transform your life, your happiness, your relationships and yes your success, is…. drum roll please
✨ Self Awareness ✨
And before you go “Ohh…is that it?!”
Yes thats it!!
From sad single Mumma to successful multi biz owner
Self awareness is what took me from me a sorry for myself single mum, broke, unhappy and in terrible relationships to becoming a wildy happy and successful multi business owner serving women on a daily basis, all with a beautiful blended family and the man of my dreams in tow. And at 37, I’m only just getting started!
It’s a powerful yet massively underrated skill that will dramatically change your life if you take the time to cultivate it.
Without self awareness we will not be able to maximise our abilty to influence outcomes in our favour. Cultivating self awareness will help you develop confidence, make you more articulate, more compassionate and all round better decision maker. You can become aware of your downfalls and your strengths - all of this is essential for living a life with passion and purpose regardless of where you've come from or what you've been led to believe was possible for.
And believe me when I say I can tell the difference between someone who has great self awareness and someone who does not. It’s like night and day….. I’m sure you can think of a few people right now who could use a little more self awareness, yeah?! But that’s their journey, and this is yours my friend.
Doing the work
So the question is really, hows your self awareness game? Because here’s the thing, when I talk I about “doing the work” I don’t just mean the elbow grease required to turn dreams into reality, I’m talking about the inner work - and incase I haven't laboured the point enough, your self awareness is everything when it comes to this!
And FYI I still do work on this, daily, this is not a one and done situation! This is a lifelong commitment to your growth and living a life in alignment with who you really are and what you’re really capable of.
Here’s a few easy ways to practise this daily, try a few (or all!) out and see what works for you. And remember, not everything is for everyone, so really play around with this and see what works best for you:
✨ Journalling
✨ Nak’d walks / runs / IE - without devices, pls still wear clothes unless it’s a safe space, in which case you do you boo!
✨ Examine your triggers / knee jerks responses
✨ Meditation
✨ Explore your likes and dislikes
✨ Learn from others who’ve walked the path before you… reading / podcasts / courses etc
✨ Practise gratitude
✨ Work with a therapist or coach
There’s a theme to all of these - It’s carving out time to be present. To step away from everything and take a moment to be, to reflect, to become aware, to feel. To heal.
And remember, you deserve to do the work that brings you closer to your dreams, and closer to the happiest, healthiest version of you.
I hope this article provided some value and inspiration on your journey. You can follow me on socials for more content @hayleyscottsummers. If you'd like to work with me through my 1:1 coaching program then I'd love to hear from you! Simply send me a message me via hayleyscottsummers@gmail.com
Until next time, have a beautiful week, and please know that I believe in you… now it’s time for you to believe in you
Hayley 💫
Comments