I won’t lie. New Years Eve holds a special place in my heart.
Every year I set aside the evening to eat my favourite food, drink Champagne, reflect on a year passed with all of it’s highs and lows, celebrate the wins and then set my intentions (note I didn’t say “resolutions” !) for the year ahead. I even host a little ceremonial burning for anything that I wish to release, stories that no longer serve me and chapters that deserve closure. Granted, since launching our restaurant, The Chubby Frog, this tradition has been moved to somewhere within the first week of January, but still, the ritual is the same.
I love New Year for the same reason I love the first blank page of a brand new notebook that unspokenly carries the promise of making you more organised, or the way a Monday morning gives you a whole week ahead to achieve your goals. It’s a blank slate. A fresh start. A new beginning.
Of all the holidays marked in the calendar, New Year’s is undeniably the epitome of new beginnings. It provides an alluring cocktail of opportunity and optimism for those who are seeking to create a better life, a better you whilst simultaneously drawing a line under the previous year. Which is an even better feeling if your year has been a shit show. Thankfully my 2024 hasn’t been, but I’ve definitely had some in my time and the promise of a fresh start has been a welcoming invitation during those times.
And yet for self confessed personal development junkies like myself, the temptation to succumb to the tired old rhetoric of “New Year New Me” can almost be too delicious to resist. However, as someone who’s been running businesses for 14+ years, who has wildly ambitious goals herself and helps other women to achieve their own goals both personally and professionally - urge you to resist I must!! Whilst I adore the opportunity to reinvent and reassess, I have a few secret ingredients, along with a few don’ts , when it comes to alchemising your dreams into reality. And spoiler alert “New Year New Me” is not it!
Avoid Setting Yourself Up For Failure
According to a recent Forbes article, only 9% of NewYears resolutions are actually kept. NINE PERCENT.
That’s millions of hopes, wishes, dreams and desires….just left for dead in the abyss of champagne fuelled New Year’s resolutions. From health goals, wealth aspirations, relationship intentions to business ideas, book concepts and passion projects that were never given wings, I very dramatically say a silent prayer for them all.
But why so many declarations left unaccomplished??
I have a few theories…
The goal was either too vague or too big for the time frame expected
There was no plan rolled out on how exactly this goal would be achieved
The goal wasn’t actually in alignment with your core values or desires - in other words, you didn’t really want it
So how can you make your 2025 goal setting and NYE resolutions different this time around and not fall into the same old trap, once again adding your own goals to the 93% of unkept resolutions?!
Firstly, when setting any goal for yourself, be it for New Year or otherwise, following the SMART goal method will ensure you have a plan of action to assist with the goal you’ve set. Let’s use one of the most common NY resolutions as an example - The classic “I want to loose weight and or be healthier.” And please keep in mind this looks different for everyone at various stages in their life, so I’m just going to give very basic examples in this arena
S - Specific / Be specific!! None of this “I want to be healthier” vagueness. Instead, try “I want to reduce my body fat / blood sugar levels / or gain more energy BY prepping a nutritious meal plan, signing up to a fitness class, getting 8 hours of sleep at night and drinking at least 2 litres of water a day” just for example.
M - Measurable / You must be able to measure this target, so consider what metrics will you track to decipher the progress and success of your goal.
A - Achievable / Be ambitious yet realistic with your goal and the time frame in which you want to achieve it.
R - Relevant / Ensure that your goal is aligned with your core values and desires
T - Time bound / Set a date in your calendar along with reminders as to when you should have reached the goal. None of this “Yeah I’ll do it tomorrow / next week” non committal noise!
All of these steps combined will give you the best chance of achieving your goals, but the one that’s often hardest to really nail down, is the relevant element. And gaining true clarity on your core goals and values is a vital step, one that’s often missed out in the whole New Year’s New Me thing….
Gain Clarity on Your Goals and Values
Too often we set goals based on what we think we should be striving for, rather than what we actually want. Pressure from external sources including family, peers and both cultural and societal expectations can lead us to ignore our internal knowing, making decision and taking action in a direction that isn’t necessarily in alignment with our own values and goals . Ultimately this his leads us to either being dissatisfied once we’ve reached the goal, or making excuses when it comes down to the crunch of taking that all important action towards achieving the goal, because it’s not something we really want. So we find all kinds excuses like “I don’t enough the time / money / energy” or “It's the not the right time for me to start doing XYZ, i’ll wait for a better time”
I speak into this not only as a coach and business woman, but as a woman who woke up at 30, looking around at the life she actively participated in building, the house, the marriage, the sedate day to day way of being and thought “How the hell did I get here?” I had spent years doing all the things I thought I was supposed to do, achieving all of those oh so important marriage and mortgage goals only to discover that I was in fact living a life completely disconnected from my true values and goals. I wasn’t me.
In the pursuit of the goals that were not truly in alignment with me core values and desires, I had become untethered to my authentic self, along with all my true goals and values.
Within the next 2 years I would go on to end my marriage, sell my house, fall into big life changing love, start new businesses and find my way back to myself. I can honestly say that life hits different when you’re walking in alignment with your core values and overall goals. But it is essential to separate yourself from the noise of modern life and ask yourself the following questions:
What makes me really happy?
What do I want more of in life? What do I want less of?
Take some time to really reflect on how you show up in the world right now and how you want to show up in the world.
What actions would I have to take to be that person??
The most powerful step you can take in the pursuit of your goals and dreams for this coming year is to give yourself the permission to not only be honest with yourself about your core values and desires, but to take action on them. And to lovingly give yourself grace and compassion along the way.
You don’t need a “new you” this year, you need to walk in alignment with your true values and desires.
Love & Magic always,
Hayley x
I hope this article provided some value and inspiration on your journey. If you’re looking to make changes in your life and or business and would like to work with me through my 1:1 coaching program then I'd love to hear from you! Simply send me a message me via hayleyscottsummers@gmail.com Or book your session here
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