SPOILER: You Are the Magic (Not Your Coach) | Podcast Recap | Episode 27

Abridged from the Mindset, Mess & Magic podcast transcript | Episode 27 | SPOILER You Are the Magic (Not Your Coach)

Listen to the episode in full here 

Hello, welcome back to Mindset, Mess & Magic. I’m your host, Hayley Scott Summers, and I am so happy that you are here.

You might be able to hear it in my voice today… I sound a bit… ugh. That is the technical term. I’ve got a cold that’s threatening to turn into full-blown man flu, and I genuinely wasn’t sure I was going to be able to show up for this episode. But here I am.

And the reason I made myself show up, aside from the fact that I love being here with you, is because I saw something the other day that felt important to speak into. I came across a post by a coach (who shall remain nameless), and the whole premise was essentially this: they had the answers to your problems and that the only way to solve the problems was to work with them specifically. That if you worked with them, invested in their high-ticket programme, they could fix the things you were struggling with - for the small price of around £3,500.

Now listen, I absolutely believe in investing in yourself. I deeply believe in investing in coaches, mentors, support. I’ve done it myself and I offer 1:1 coaching. But I also believe this is a massive red flag to pitch yourself the only solution.

Because when someone positions themselves as the solution to your problems, it starts to feel a bit… snake-oil salesman.

And more importantly — it takes your power away.

You Already Have the Answers

I genuinely believe and yes, I know it sounds cliché that the answers you’re looking for already exist within you.

When you work with a coach or a mentor, you’re not looking for someone who has the answers. You’re looking for someone with experience who can help you access what’s already inside you.

Because at the end of the day, we are responsible for our own journey - whether that’s healing, growth, learning, or creating something new.

You could read the most profound book.

You could hire the best coach.

You could listen to the most inspiring podcast.

But unless you implement what you learn, nothing changes.

Knowledge isn’t power.

Action is power.

And only you can take that action.

Why This Narrative Is So Dangerous

What really struck me about that post was how outdated it felt. Like we were being pulled backwards into this idea that someone else knows better than you do.

And that’s something I feel really passionately about pushing back against.

Especially when so many of us have grown up in systems that conditioned us to believe exactly that.

I’ve spoken before about being raised as a Jehovah’s Witness. The amount of unlearning I had to do around what was available to me — as a person, as a woman, as a mother — was enormous.

What I was allowed to want.

What I was capable of achieving.

What dreams were “acceptable”.

And even spiritually — for a long time I wanted nothing to do with spirituality at all, because I had to untangle it from a very patriarchal, controlling belief system.

Now? My spirituality feels liberating. Empowering. Expansive.

But when you’re raised to believe that other people — often men, often authority figures — have the answers, it can be incredibly hard to trust yourself.

So we stop looking inward.

Why Truth Resonates

Have you ever noticed that when you hear something that’s true, it lands differently?

It resonates.

And the reason it resonates is because on some level — in your soul, your body, your inner knowing — you already know it’s true.

That’s not someone giving you wisdom.

That’s someone helping you remember.

Stripping Away the Noise

If you want to access your own answers, one of the most important things you can do is strip away the noise.

And that looks different for everyone.

For me, one of the first things I do when I feel overwhelmed or stuck is step back from social media. I’ve taken months-long breaks before, and honestly — it’s been one of the most powerful tools I’ve ever used.

We were not designed to have this much information, opinion, comparison, and projection coming at us 24/7.

Sometimes it’s helpful.

Sometimes it’s just… a bit fucking much.

Clarity doesn’t come from more input.

It comes from space.

Ask Better Questions

Another huge piece of this is learning to ask yourself better questions.

So often, the questions we ask come from anger, confusion, or fear — and those questions rarely lead to solutions.

Instead of asking:

“Why is this happening to me?”

Try asking:

“How do I want to feel?”

“What outcome do I want?”

“What would need to change for that to be possible?”

Work backwards from the feeling.

Because there is no point achieving the thing you think you want if, when you get there, you still feel empty, restricted, or unhappy.

Empowerment Over Gatekeeping

A good coach or mentor doesn’t gatekeep wisdom.

They don’t say, “I have the answers.”

They say, “I can help you find yours.”

They see your potential — even the parts you’re still hiding — and help you draw it out. They don’t give you magic.

They help you remember that you are the magic.

Choosing Your Mindset

Now, this part can feel confrontational.

You get to choose your mindset.

I know — for some people that feels accusatory or uncomfortable. Especially if you’ve spent a long time believing that your thoughts and feelings just happen to you.

But while you might not control the very first thought that pops into your head, you absolutely have control over what you do with it next.

Your thoughts come from your beliefs.

Your beliefs shape your feelings.

Your feelings drive your actions — or your inaction.

So self-awareness becomes everything.

This is why I prefer thinking in terms of:

• What serves you

• What sabotages you

Victimhood sabotages you.

Responsibility serves you.

And responsibility doesn’t mean shame or blame — it means agency.

It means choice.

Ditching External Validation

This piece matters so much.

If, deep down, you’re still trying to please someone else — a person, a community, a culture — then even when you try to “tap into your inner knowing”, the answers you get will be filtered through their expectations.

So ask yourself:

• Whose approval am I seeking?

• Has this person been where I’ve been?

• Are they going where I want to go?

If the answer is no — you get to decide how much weight their opinion really deserves.

You’ve Always Had the Answers

There are incredible coaches, teachers, books, podcasts, and spaces out there and they absolutely have value.

But none of them hold your answers.

You do.

The right spaces will facilitate your growth and opportunities.

Even if right now you’re thinking, “Hayley, I absolutely do not have the answers.” I invite you, I dare you, to try this work.

Create space.

Strip back the noise.

Ask better questions.

Choose a mindset that serves you.

Loosen your grip on external validation.

And see what starts to surface.

Because the answers you’re searching for aren’t outside of you.

They never were.

Final Thoughts

Thank you so much for being here , and for bearing with my cold-ridden voice. I didn’t cough though, so honestly, that feels like a win.

I appreciate you deeply.

Next week’s episode is all about the gap, that space between where you are and where you’re going, and how to navigate it without losing yourself. I’m really excited for that conversation.

Until then, you can find me over on Instagram at @hayleyscottsummers.

Send me a message, let me know what landed, and share this episode with someone who needs the reminder:

You are the magic. Always have been.