A little bit "Woe is me" and a lot "It's not my fault....."
When I look back at the time in my life in which I was at the height of feeling disempowered, I couldn't even place the feeling. It sat somewhere between helplessness and victimhood. A little bit "Woe is me" and a lot "It's not my fault, I had this weird childhood......"
And yes, my upbringing was indeed strange, turbulent and unorthodox in a way that left me feeling like a permanent outsider in all situations in life. Certainly not the kind of childhood you would casually mention over dinner whilst meeting your potential in-laws for the first time, that's for sure!
But does anyone have a "normal childhood"?! And more to the point, I was no longer a child, I was an adult. Apparently. And somewhere along the way I either subconsciously chose to hold onto all that was holding me back, or I used it as a shield to protect myself. Shield… excuse…. Tomato tomato, right?!
None the less, I was stuck. Frustrated. Lost. And I had no idea that I was keeping myself there. It was like I'd been locked in a box for years, only someone had secretly picked the lock and opened the door - I was free, but with my back to the door and my gaze fixed firmly in the past, I simply couldn't see it.
And so there I remained, disempowered. Stuck in my head, stuck in the past and with more limiting beliefs than Pedro Pascal gifs currently circulating TikTok.
"You can't change where you've come from but you can choose where you're going"
It wasn't until my early 20's that I discovered the concept "You can't change where you've come from but you can choose where you're going" entered my peripheral. Free from an abusive marriage with an alcoholic almost 20 years senior to me, lacking in social and educational skills from the cult like religion I grew up in, and a single mum to my then 3 year old daughter - I had so much emotional baggage that my baggage had baggage. Like an airport luggage carousel, only I wasn't going anywhere exciting.
But somehow, I had this yearning inside of me, a hunger for knowledge and a desire for a life beyond what I thought was available to me. I became deeply curious and started learning from other people who'd overcome far greater obstacles than me and went on to create beautiful lives. Now, I had absolutely no idea how I would achieve this, or whether or not I was worthy, but I knew why I wanted to....
I was tired of feeling like a victim.
I completed my studies in Counselling & Psychotherapy, packed up all my worldly belongings in a small white van and bundled my daughter in. We travelled east for 6 hours and re located to a small town in Hertfordshire. A fresh start.
And to cut a long story short, this is where my life really began. This is where I took control and responsibility of myself, where I educated myself, healed myself. Where I learnt to love myself and free myself from the aftermath of that turbulent childhood. Where I took a chance on myself, to believe in myself and bring dreams to life. This is also where I would get tired of my bullsh*t, tired of the negative patterns in my life and truly accpet that I couldn't change where I came from, but I sure as hell could choose where I was going.
Are you ready to show up for yourself?
I'm 36 now and I'm still on that journey, healing, learning, growing. Rinse and repeat, because the work is never done. There's always more to learn, and deeper growth availble to those who choose it. But I'm happier than ever, stronger than ever and beyond blessed to be on this wild ride that is life!
If my story resonates with you at all, if you're in a season of your life in which you feel helpless, stuck or disempowered and don't know what to do... then I made this for you. The "10 Ways To Become Empowered Today" guide is a 26 page workbook that includes all the mindsets and methods that I adopted to go from feeling stuck and helpless to becoming empowered in my own life, relationships and career, with each section asking 4 questions to help you take action, all of which I utilise when working with my 1:1 clients.
I’ve specifically designed this mini guide so that each and every point outlined will require no financial investment. Let me repeat this - there is zero money required to take action - I’m not even going to charge for this workbook! Instead, you need to be willing to invest in yourself on a deeper level. You will be called upon to work on your self love game, explore self compassion, practise gratitude, take responsibility for your happiness, question your limiting beliefs and carry a burning desire to want more for yourself. All the while holding space for yourself, with honesty and love.
Are you ready? Are you ready to show up for yourself and take life changing action?! You can download your free copy here and I would love to know what part of the workbook helped you the most or maybe any “ah-ha!!” moments you get from it. I love connecting with you all so drop a comment in the comments section below, tag me on social media @hayleyscottsummers or use the #mindsetmessandmagic with your inspirations and actions!
Until next time….
Love & Magic,