Fear, Doubt & Excuses
How many times have you had an idea for something you’d like to do, whether it’s to try a new hobby, go for that promotion or even start your own business, only to find fear, doubt and let’s be honest… excuses, creeping in?
One minute you’re excited and googling for ideas and inspiration, the next minute you “find” a dozen reasons as to why you couldn’t / shouldn’t / wouldn’t…..
Sound a tiny bit familiar?!
Nobody is born with self doubt, it’s something we develop…
Whilst this scenario likely rings a bell, it really shouldn’t. You were not born doubting your abilities! You didn’t decide to not learn to walk or talk in case you “got it wrong” or looked “stupid”. You just did it. When you fell over, you got back up and tried again. When someone corrected your speech you took the feedback as just that, and gradually you learnt to talk.
But somewhere along the way, self doubt snuck in. Our teachers, peers, parents & just about anybody we encounter, all have the ability to impact how we perceive ourselves, especially in our early years. Maybe someone said or did something that led you to believe that you were not capable or deserving. Bad experiences and trauma (which nobody is free from!) all shape our self belief.
As a result, you start to form a narrative about who you think you are, what you think you deserve and what you think you are capable of.
Why is it so important to believe in yourself?
That narrative grows over time, and if you let it, it becomes your story.
Now, apart from the fact it would be tragic to not believe in all of the magical, wonderful, uniqueness that is you, it will also fundamentally hold you back from reaching your goals in life and business.
Self belief is the first step in achieving what you want in life for the simple reason that if you believe you are capable, you will take the steps you need to make stuff happen. If you believe you are deserving and worthy, you will do the things you need to do to have the things you desire, personally and professionally.
But when you tell yourself you’re not capable or that you’re undeserving because you don’t have the right education or upbringing or money or experience, or you’re not smart enough, pretty enough or any variation of “enoughness” that you feel you’re lacking, then you won’t even try. Because you’ll think it’s out of reach so what’s the point, right?!
How to develop more self belief
It’s not a complicated concept, so much so that it’s easy to underestimate the power of something that sounds so simple. But to develop self belief is a vital mindset shift that will help you achieve your goals in life & business. And who doesn’t want that?!
Whilst the idea isn’t tricky, that doesnt mean developing it is easy! Like all habits (because not believing in yourself is a mindset habit) it takes time, discipline and consistency to develop true self belief and turn it into your super power…
Here are 5 things you can do, right now, to start increasing your self belief
1. Do things you’re good at
When we do things we are good at, we feel good right?! We get a sense of accomplishment and pride. So spend more time doing the things you’re good at. And whilst we’re here, spend less time on the things you’re bad at. Outsource them or find a way to reduce the time you spend on them. Stop trying to be better at the things you suck at and despise doing! Seriously, If I had to spend my time doing math I’d feel pretty rubbish about myself!! But give me a camera, a coaching client or a creative project and BOOM! I’m all over it and feeling amazing!!
2. Question your inner critic
The voice that pops up and tells you to forget it, that you’re not smart enough or that thing you want to do is for people with x,y z ? Ask yourself why you believe that. Where does that belief come from? Is it true? I bet its not!! Ask yourself “How does this belief serve me?” And then ask yourself “What will happen if I choose not to believe this?” Because you absolutely have a choice to believe in something else!
3. Surround yourself with positive and encouraging people
The people you surround yourself with have the ability to lift you up, or drag you down. Who do you spend the most time with? Are they supportive, encouraging and pursuing their own goals in life? What about the accounts you follow on social media? Do they inspire, uplift and motivate you? Or do they make you feel like a sack potatoes with nothing to offer?? Whether its online or in “real life” choose who you spend your time and attention on wisely.
4. Take care of you
Without trying to sound like an Instagram reels sound bite…. Drink water, eat food that nourishes you, read books that inspire you, get a little exercise. Treat yourself with love and compassion. Do the things that are good for you and feel good to you, mind, body & soul. The more you do this, the more you’ll want better for yourself, and the more you’ll believe that you deserve it.
5. Practise Affirmations & Mantra’s
Whilst this last one might sound a little kooky, theres a lot of research that supports the concept that repeating affirmations and mantras can help boost your confidence and in turn your self belief. Providing you are consistent with them and back them up with actions! And they don't need to be wishy washy…. One of my favourites is “Yes I f***ing can” Try it the next time you need reminding of just how competent and strong you are.
So, are you ready to believe in yourself? Are you ready to stop thinking that the life you want and deserve is out of reach! You are stronger, smarter and more capable than you know. Why not try a little self belief and see where it gets you?!
I so deeply hope that this article helps you to think about the story behind your own self belief and move forward with your goals. Please feel free to drop a comment below or message me if you’d like to find out exactly how my Mentorship Program can help you develop the mindset and self belief you need to achieve your goals.
Big love from your Coach,