Updated: Sep 30
Are you overlooking the greatest gifts you could ever give yourself in exchange for quick fixes, "self care" fads and "Treat 'yo self" shopping splurges?!
Because whilst there's no denying that Louboutins are lush and trips to the spa might soothe your soul for a few hours, if you're looking to give yourself a gift that will keep on giving and last longer than your iced latte as you peruse this seasons latest trends, maybe it's time to invest in yourself on a deeper level.....
The gift of extending love and compassion to yourself will transform your life like nothing else.
For the longest time I believed that my upbringing and subsequent relationships were all proof that I was beyond unlovable. I would then subconsciously choose partners that would treat me badly and therfore reinforce this belief that I carried around with me. Weighing me down and permeating all of my decisons. My inner critic would be just as quick and sharp "See. No one will ever love you."
A painful self fulfilling cycle, one that I've come to understand is far less common than you'd think, only to be broken by love.
And no, not a knight in shining armour saves the day kind of love. I'm talking about self love.
The kind of love that changes lives, breaks generational trauma and paves the way for hope and you guessed it, more love!
There's a theory that comes to mind, in which all emotions stem from either love, or fear. And that everyday, the way in which we show up within the world, in our lives, within our families, relationships and for ourselves, can be determined by these two emotions...Love or fear.
So when you cultivate love for yourself, you're better able to make decisions from a place of love, not fear. You can make choices that benefit you and serve you, along with your loved ones, and not decisions that sabotage you or deepen the beliefs that cause you pain and hold you back.
And FYI, the more you have for yourself, the more you can give others. Gone is the tired old rhetoric of self love being selfish (yes, im talking about that "OMG she totally loves herself!!!) because it's actually far from selfish. The more love you pour into yourself, the more it spills outward. It radiates from you and others will catch it like sunshine!
Dream it. Believe it. Acheive it. I love this, although I feel obliged to point out that it does miss out the vital "Take inspired and aligned action" element, that should sit neatly in between the "believe and achieve" part. I know, if only it was that simple?!
Regardless of this, the power of belief is not to be underestimated. Life can be hard. You can be presented with cards that appear to not stack in your favour. You can have desires bigger that what seem possible for your current reality (in fact I highly recommend it! ) And you can be left feeling like the life you long for, the relationship you crave and the business you want to build all seem far grander than your abilty to actually create them.
But belief, in you, in your magic and all that’s available to you in this abundant universe will help you move mountains. It will shift your energy from helpless to hopefull and move you out of a victim mentality and into a mindset of possibility. Self belief will create opportunities and inspire others to seek out theirs, it's really that powerful.
And if all that seems a bit woo and you're looking for something more tangible to sink your teeth into before you decide to invest in cultivating a little more self belief, then think of it like this:
When you have belief, you are more attuned and observant to the opportunities around you. Because you believe they are available to you. And not only that, when you have belief in yourself and your abilities, you are more likely to seek out these opportunities. You're more likely to show up for yourself and take action that's its in alignment with where you want to be or what you want to have.
Without belief, you miss out on all of these things. And you'll it call "bad luck" or "circumstances" or worse..... "that's just the way it is I guess"
And you deserve so much more.
You might be thinking.... "Umm Hayley....Permission for what?! I'm a grown ass adult!" And I hear you! However, in my experience of working with people in a 1:1 capacity, it's not a lack of skill, talent or education that holds them back from pursuing their dreams and taking the leap. It's not so much financial or physical commitments or even a lack of time as often stated. More often than not, it comes down to self belief (as mentioned above) and yup, permission.
I've seen it so many times and I've heard the familiar pangs of longing in many a voice when describing what they'd really like to do. And I've seen the same look sweep across thier faces when I've asked the question "So whats the hold up, what's stopping you?"
It's like they're looking for permission, from me, from their family, from anyone that would so gracious as to say - "Go!! It's ok, you got this!"
The truth is, the only person that can ever give you the permission you need is yourself. Certainly not me. And not even your family or friends. So whilst their blessing is always a welcome gift, it's not actually required for you to start making moves towards the life you want to live. After all, not everyone will understand your path, so you could be waiting a while!
So give yourself permission on all fronts - Permission to follow your dreams, to be courageous, to step out side of the “norm”, to be yourself, in all the weird & wonderful ways that make you uniquely you and in turn find kindred souls to walk alongside.
Love, belief and permission. These are some of the most empowering gifts you can give yourself, that will not only boost your wellbeing, improve your quality of life and relationships, but they are gifts that will bring you closer to achieving all of those dreams and goals that reside within you. And hey, if gifting yourself the latte and Louboutins also bring you joy, why not throw them into the mix too?! After all, I believe you're capable and worthy of having it all....
So the only question is now, what gift can you give yourself today?!
I hope this article provided some value and inspiration on your journey. If you'd like to work with me through my 1:1 coaching program then I'd love to hear from you! Simply send me a message me via firstname.lastname@example.org